24 October 2009

Different strokes

Great time with good friends having splendid food...

What could be a better way to fuel your weekend other than this..

It is time like this that I start to count the blessings in my life, what it has to offer.

All the beautiful things in life is always a subjective thing between people.

Even when it comes to the same person, the perspective on things might differ as well, most of it would be depended on the state of mind that shapes that particular mood at the given time.

Earlier in the evening as I walked out to my car, as the sun was setting fast, and the cloud was pouring its heart out, the image of this old lady who was paralysed due to a major stroke (cerebrovascular accident / angin ahmar) sitting on her wheelchair waiting for someone to pick her up just hit me right home.

I can't stop from thinking about her even as I reach my destination. Would there even be a meal waiting for her at home?

21 October 2009

Kiss of life

The average age of Malaysian folks getting a heart attack these days is 57 years old, and 59 years old for a stroke. A much higher rate compared to western countries. Surprised?

Well I'm not surprised, since KFC has been part of our weekly diet these days.

Even our sponsored breakfast at drug talk this morning was well *smirk* is no other than your own uncle Ronald's delicious hamburger.

Do you know that major risk factors for myocardial infarction are:
  1. smoking
  2. hypertension
  3. hyperlipidaemia
  4. diabetes
  5. obesity
  6. male
  7. age

The good news is most of these attacks would kill you instantenously, so it would be a quick agonising death. So it can be anywhere from your bathroom to the boardroom or while you're having sex (oh yes grandpa, yup yup). If you lucky enough you might make it to an ER. Once you are stabilised, you may get an angiogram basically we poke your artery and push a wire into the opening of your coronary vessels and inject a contrast to find blocked vessels.

Hurm but only IF you survive the first attack. So first you gotta teach your spouse, children, girl/boyfriend a CPR.. to you know increase your survival odd if let say you collapsed with a cardiac arrest.

Ah well enjoy the show.. penat lah tulis banyak2.

16 October 2009

The last bus to Santa Fe

The truth is out.

What do you do when you found out that what you've been holding out all this while is nothing but some illusion in an October sky. A mirage in the burning Sahara.

Yes perhaps some people would stay in the dream pretending that nothing happen, while others would opt for the quickest exit route.

In the end it has been a very enlighting path for yours truly. It makes me realise that there are people out there each with their own unique character and personal agenda.
The real questions is what do you do?

In the word of Jack Ryan to the old man in the White house...

"Sorry Mr President, I don't dance".

10 October 2009


I was told that I'm being too bloody sensitive and over-emotional when handling myself in public. I'm aware of my personality and will admit that I'm not the most macho guy ever walk the earth. One thing for sure I could only get vulnerable when it comes to the person I care. Well yeah I'm a person who evolve with time. Every single thing that I absorb along the way would be processed within my frontal zones and digested with care. If it's a total crap, then it will be flushed out of the system like every single wasted material there is. Some habit I could shake it off, and some might stay put.

Only time would tell whether the man I am today is the person I will be tomorrow. As for now, I got some feedback which I will keep a mental note on.

The bad news is one thing for sure there will be some collateral damage at the hospital next week, as my mind is still recovering from the side effects of those 2 types of pills I took. The good news is I know every single one of them by now. So yeah it won't effect my clinical judgement, but it may effect my internal mood. Yeah be careful of self medicating doctors. We can be very loose & unpredictable in our action.

So it seems that finally Dr Jeckle and Mr Hyde want to come out and play.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

01 October 2009


It is a silent morning.

Too quiet that I could hear my own breathing
Counting down my own pulses and they are pulsating at 100 beats per minute.

The palpitation of my own heart is so strong now that I feel a bit giddy as I stand up looking for the light switch in the bathroom.

I catch my own reflection on the mirror and a stranger is standing there staring at me looking rather intense. For a while it is as if we're having a staring contest. He looks rather shaky to me and I bet I could take him down with a low hook swing across his right ribs.

However this morning I think I'm gonna leave him alone.
I'm not going to give him the fight he can't possibly win.