30 November 2009

Happy at last

There are so many things in this life that we take for granted, may it be our health, our secured financial status, well not to say that we're rich. Enough to say that we would not go hungry at night or have to starve ourselves because we can't afford to have food on our plates.

Ah yes! Of course the more money we have the better, which to some of us that would be a never ending quest. What is more important in the future is to have more time for myself.

So at this current state of life and as far as happiness is concern. I think I'm pretty much a happy guy now.

Although I'm yet to settle down with a girl and have my a family of my own. At least I have a decent job which I enjoy doing day in & out. Parents for which I'm sure loves me (Gee I do hope so). Good friends that I can share stuff with and to rely on during good times and at time of needs.

It would be a great tragedy in life if one looks back at one's journey and weep like a wounded soul. I have a good feeling that 30 years down the line, I could look back at all this and have a good laugh at myself and yes again that's good enough for me.

Yes, you always have choices in this life.

I choose to be happy with what I have now.

20 November 2009

a febrile affair

Falling sick again.

The last 2 days were nothing but a roller-coaster of moderate grade fever, and I can't seem to shake off the febrile mode. Surviving with 6 hourly PCM. Hopefully it's nothing. Coz i can't afford to fall ill or worse admitted again.

Deep inside i fear it may in fact be dengue, especially with its rising incidence in KL in the past 2 weeks. That plus the fact that these eyeballs felt 'pressured' whenever I closed them, with the occasional arthralgia. Devoid of flu-like symptoms makes me pretty much sure about this self-diagnosis. Even worse I'm gonna be oncall tomorrow in the emergency dept.

I wish the fever would leave me alone. Otherwise I would be treating a legion of ill people while my own platelet is plunging by the hour.

Damn I hate those freaking mosquitoes.

11 November 2009

Ho Liao !

To survive one of the bloodiest on call was one of the superb feeling to any of us out there. You feel like you did your job and earn a restful post call day.

Last night was one of those when the phone call just wouldn't stop ringing till morning. It ended at 7am with the final call from the ER docs wanted to get an opinion on an elderly lady who was brought in very ill.

The ECG of interest finally landed in my hands, and true enough we made the right decision at the very crucial point not to thrombolyse the patient.

When the on call ended, I dragged my sleepy body up to the canteen and have a jolly good breakfast with my mates who just arrived with fresh clothes and smiley faces and I on the other hand could have won the "smelliest haggard-looking ogre" award of the year.

06 November 2009

I knew

Trust is important.

Between a surgeon and her patient. Before she makes the first incision.

Between husband and wife. Before the akad niqah.

Between lovers. Before the first kiss.

When that trust is broken nothing could fix it, not even a single stitch on a pus-ridden open surgical wound nor the shedded tears of a repented sinner.

I can live with a broken heart, but not with broken trust.

Call this a sentimental crap. Call it whatever you want.

But when you look into my eyes, I expect nothing but the fucking truth.

Tell me...

"Have you ever dance with the devil under the pale moonlight?"

Yes, that question is both metaphorical and rhetorical. Because I knew the answer all along.

Yes.. I'm a benign yet sadistic being in many ways you can't imagine.

02 November 2009

Second life

I saw a public health poster reminding us to bring our mom to health service. Which reminds me that all the things in our life may not come true without her existence. That may include our very own presence in this world.

If one drives to Terendak Camp in Melaka, within the 4th Regiment compound you will come across a huge 15 feet in depth fish pond. I was 8 years old when on one fateful day I found myself at the bottom of that pond. The murky green water had filled part of my lungs making them harder to inflate with every passing second. What occurred for few minutes feels like forever when you are somewhere between life and death.

At that very moment I saw another person in that fish pond. A figure of a girl roughly 2 feet in front of me. She smiled and pointed up toward the surface gesturing me to swim upward. Retrospectively, perhaps my brain had become hypoxic of oxygen and started to play trick on me. Visual hallucination. Funny enough, I did not feel I was in any grave danger. Not a strike of fear or panic engulfed my mind. I feel protected as though someone was there all the while telling me that everything is gonna be all right.

Just before my vision became fuzzy I saw another figure came right from above me with arms wide open and pulled me out of the pond. An army sergeant came by to help and gave me pulmonary resuscitation for 5 minutes.


My mom... up until this very day never know how to swim. On that day she jumped into that pond without hesitation and saved me.

Happy birthday Mom.
Thank you for everything.