Simple pleasure

The sky was of clear light blue with different shades.

The rain had just stopped.

I can smell the scent of fresh wet grass.

The slippers I wore made squishy sound as I made my way across the garden.

I found some whites flowers lying on the grass.

I stopped, as I enjoyed the simple pleasure given in this life.

Miracles & love

Whatever happened in the past, I believe everything happens for a reason.

So few fundamentals need to be covered before we walk into 2010. Although hope can be cruel at times, I believe that we should never give up on our hope.

Never give up on those who in need of our service, although all that is left are miracles. For every disease has its cure, and human knowledge are the rate-limiting factor. But there is no real bound to what human spirit can achieve. In the face of our greatest adversary that can only we acknowledge our weaknesses and overcome them.

If you ask me what do I know about love. Well, I know for certain now that you can't create or fake it. Although recently I was wounded by its departure, but that is mostly due to my own naivety, and perhaps somewhat self-inflicted. I'm sure she's out there somewhere. I just haven't found her yet.

I'm looking forward for 2010. There will be lot of major changes in this life. Although, one thing will never change though, is that I always be a man of certain characters... an idealist and a dreamer.

With all of those in mind, it is time to make our very own miracles.

Good luck folks!

... and good bye.

***

"It's late at night and I can't sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile
Oh God I wish I could make you see

Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying
Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles

Cuz I ain't giving up on love"

***

Meet Mr McClane

If I were to have a housemate.

He would be as cool as this chap here.

... and I would call him John McClane.

Smart, cool and tough.

"Ms Katherine eat your heart out" :D

My way

At times, you will feel a certain connection to songs that sort of reflect how you feel at a certain point of your life. As the 2009 curtain nearly closing upon us. These are the few phrases that feel close to home.

Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes it was my way

****

I had taken few course of action this year, and followed my instincts. Although the result was not quite as I wanted it to be, but it gave satisfaction knowing that I had given it my best shot. So I won't regret it many years down the line by asking myself "What if I have done it?"

Uncle Newton was right on the spot with his 3rd law, that to every single action there is an equal amount of energy but in the opposite direction.

Good. Now I've got to at least admit it, that the ending of 2009 is ain't that super. However, on the plus side, I've learned some useful stuff on how to deal with my own issues and others especially when it comes to the opposite sex. I am a much wiser man I hope.

The world is round, and it can only be fair that all things would get their own share of joy and pain. But it is time to put some everlasting smile on that face.

I double dare you 2010, bring it on!!

Somewhere wonderful

Came home to a dark quiet space.

Turned on the fan at maximum speed.

The light can wait.

I dropped everything that I had in my hand onto the black coffee table and found myself curled up on the sofa... and slowly closed my eyes.

Some people believe that at the end of one's life you would see all your past events flash quickly right in front of you, it feels like watching your own movie running at high speed.

I experienced that earlier this evening. All the memories flashed right before my eyes as we had some serious talk about how this relationship had come to an end.

****

One particular image caught my breath as I tried to contain my feelings.

"I don't care anymore... " I uttered those words accidentally out loud as I lost my way somewhere inside her eyes. She looked puzzled and we laughed our heart out.

That was the best time of my life.

Ain't a reality show

It has been a truly revealing sub-plot for yours truly these last few days. Whereby, I realised for the first time where my "character" now stands in this soap opera-like real life drama, similar to those once shown at 2am on TV2.

The question is what could possibly happen to your character when it has been downgraded from a main role into a supportive role. Could they kill off off your character like Dr Drake Ramoray? Wait, I think we all what's the answer to that question.

In the end, well people's priority change as they seem fit. So this is not a blaming game. And who am I to argue with people's wish.

Run my mind tells me, save your feelings. Fragility doesn't pay, and it definitely won't save your arse one day when you fall. Everyone has a little bit of self preservation ego, I think I've suppressed mine long enough. Well some actors would quit the show. Better quit then be killed right?

It is time to wake up and smell the fresh scent of roasted-coffee and perhaps the fresh carbon monoxide in the Klang Valley's air. I suppose if the reality is too good to be true, then you're right, it usually is not the truth.

Although the damage has been done, I just have to come up with some kind of backup plan.

Like the old man in Ward 2 once told me "Don't worry young man, you just improvise and get on with your life."

I think I've repeated this statement before. It is Deja Vu all over again.